love with what?

 this is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.  if anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?  dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:16-18

with the encouragement of chad thompson, this verse has really hit home to me and especially hit home in patate, ecuador.  for those of you that don't know, my espanol isn't very fluent, and i can only speak a few words.  with this being said the children i was ministering to there didn't care.  all they wanted was a smile on my face and a hug waiting on them when they saw me each day come off the bus.  it is through ACTIONS that we need to love.  everyone may not understand what we are saying or trying to say, but if we love through doing, the work of Jesus can be spread by any way possible.  as verse 18 clearly states let us love with actions and with the truth that is Jesus Christ!!!  

open your eyes, ears, and heart

i'm not going to apologize for the next couple of blogs because i want everyone to read them, however, they are all going to be about my experiences in ecuador.  on may 27 i was blessed and fortunate enough to travel to patante, ecuador with my the calvary baptist church youth group.  in all honesty i had been dreading going on this trip for some time now.  little did i know that this was exactly what i need at this point in my life. 

in december my mom came to me and asked if i wanted to go to ecuador at the end of may with the youth group from back home.  i was hesitant and reluctantly said yes.  i told her from the beginning that i really hoped i didn't get to go because i was hoping that a job would be in my future after my may 7th graduation.  so for the past 5 or so months leading up until the trip my prayers consisted of asking the Lord for a job and to place me where he felt i needed to be.  funny thing is i guess my father in heaven didn't need me in the real world quite yet.  weeks and months passed and applications were filled out and turned down.  it's a frustrating thing job hunting, but i got to the point where i wasn't just frustrated but mad as well.  i NEEDED a job! i could just see God now laughing his head off at me watching me go about things my way and looking for Him to give me that job. 

so the day came where we were flying out of atlanta and to be honest i still didn't want to be boarding that airplane to ecuador.  i wanted to be making money out in the real world.  we got to patante late on friday night so the bed was quickly calling my name.  saturday we put on a vacation bible school type camp for the ecuadorian youth.  and to be real, i was miserable.  i was questioning why i was there.  i was wondering were i fit in whether in be with the youth or as a chaperone.  i just kinda stood back out of the way selfishly thinking i sure hope things change.  there again was God looking down laughing.  not only was i ignoring Him but was ignoring my real purpose for being in ecuador.  that afternoon after lunch i prayed for something to change.  well guess what it did.  my and my brother adam went up the hill and were messing around with a soccer ball when to young boys came and started playing with us.  those two boys were so excited about getting to play with three american guys, will otis joined in on the fun.  from then on i knew i had been brought to ecuador for a reason.  it wasn't because God was ignoring my job hunt, it wasn't so i could have some life changing experience, it was to bring smiles, joy, and the wonderful word of Jesus Christ to these young people that wouldn't hear about it any other way.

throughout the week adam and i along with others led bible study at our designated schools even though my lesson was pretty awful in american terms (just ask adam).  the kids didn't care, they want to know so much about the Lord we serve in america and the one and only God that they can go share with their parents.  they wanted to see our smiling, loveable faces and it clicked.  i wasn't there for me, i was there for those kids, i was there for their parents, i was their for the people of patante, and most importantly i was there because God wanted and needed me there. 

i went in with a closed mind, heart, and soul but boy did the good Lord bust that wide open and i can only imagine why. 

more is to come.....

isaiah 40:11 - our teams theme verse for the week

i just woke up

wow last night i went to sleep anxiously awaiting my first day as a 1st grader and i woke up today with an MBA staring the real world straight in the face.  at least that's what it seems like.

and now what should i do....?
should i jump into a job just because it's a job
should i blog more (this is an obvious answer)
should i begin writing my book
should i move
should i keep doing what i'm doing

there are so many "what should i's" that come to mind when facing the future but the better question to ask is what WILL i do?  so many times i have gotten caught up in the what should i do scenerio where i really don't take everything into account.  through my long dream that was elementary school all the way until the end of graduate school, the "should i" game has reared its ugly head multiple times.  the thing i am most sure of now is what i will and feel called to in what lies ahead.  i WILL make a difference in lives, i WILL jump on any opportunity that is given to me, i WILL pursuit my desire of athletics, and i WILL rely on my father in heaven for every answer to every question i have.  oh yeah, and i WILL blog more.  sorry been frustrated and on edge recently. 

"but blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.  they will be like a tree planted by the water that sends its roots by the stream.  it does not fear when the heat comes; its leaves are always green.  it has no worries of drought and never fails to bear fruit."  Jeremiah 17:7-8 

p.s. prayers are welcomed as i am traveling to ecuador on thursday to do some of the Lord's work.

dear mama

day late but...

yes, i am not afraid to admit it, i am a mama's boy.  i have been since the day i was brought into this earth by her. i can't imagine where i would be without her today or what kind of man i would have turned in to without the guidance and direction that my mother provided. 

at first i didn't want to be considered a "mama's boy."  it just sounded like i was a big wimp and a push over.  for the longest time i would get so irritated that people would tell me i look and act just like my mom.  i didn't want to be like my mom.  i wanted to be the tough, hard-nosed kid that was more like daddy than mom.  as i've grown older, i have accepted the fact that God put my mother her for me and that being compared to her in anyway was a blessing and a very heralded complement.  it's funny to think back in my stubborn days that mom was/and is always right.  without her, i would be a complete mess.  she is my best friend and always wanting what's best for me. 

funny story in regards to my mom actually...we were sitting in church sunday (yes Mother's Day), and before the service i was looking around the sanctuary trying to pick out a girl that was my "type."  as i told my mom what i was doing she just chuckled and said what exactly is your type?"  of course i said i'm not really sure, but little did i know that 45 minutes later i would know.  my pastor, Dr. David Eldridge preached a sermon on the christian woman and mother, and boy was he spot on.  after the service my family was enjoying a wonderful lunch and i looked to my mom and said, i think i have found my "type."  oh really she said and what would that be.  i responded with a quick did you hear that sermon?  david painted the perfect picture of her, and she is just like you (my mom).  what a way for God to show me what type of girl i want to be with than the picture he painted with my mom that i have failed to realize recently. 

kind-hearted, open, emotional, worrisome, beatiful, bold, unique, talented - these are just the few characteristics that describe mom and i can't wait for the day that i can call my wife the same things. 

Psalm 127- the message preached on sunday

and dats her!!!!

i got da best fam

i love my family and i have the best family in the world.  i would not change them for the world.  they bring me joy, love, frustration, laughter, peace, anger(at times), etc.  and when i say i have the best family in the world, i'm talking from mama and daddy to aunt and uncle to cousins.  i love every single one of them.

this past weekend i got to spend time with my whole family.  as you know it was easter weekend so i was able to go back home and celebrate that awesome day that Jesus Christ rolled away the stone with all of my family.

so my mom's side of the family is who i spent the afternoon and evening on sunday with, and let me tell you i could spend 24 hours 7 days a week with them.  simms, sara scott, uncle g, aunt dana, my tanmama they all just are such a joy to be around.  if i want girl advice or any advice at all let me tell you simms and sara scott are right there to tell me what's up.  i think i may laugh the hardest when i'm around them.  not only that but i learn so much from them with there honesty and bluntness.  what a great trait to have when you need someone to shoot you strait.  aunt dana is always there talking about how i can get into the school system and what i need to do to become a future principal or administrator which has become more and more of an option.  and i can always count on uncle g to agree on how bad the ole miss baseball team is playing or how i can't stand the st. louis cardinals.  and my sweet grandmother (tanmama is what i call her) has such a special place in my heart for the push she gives me in my schoolwork and job hunt.  she has such a kind heart and a want to for all of her grandchildren to succeed. i admire her so much.

okay so on to daddy's side.  it's like night and day when it comes to this side of the family.  when we all sat together at church on sunday, i'm sure half of the church was like "oh goodness, what's the stewart clan gonna pull of this time?"  it's different because apart from my sister dorie, it's all guys and we all like to be loud and make people laugh (each other especially).  i don't have the time or the energy right now to break down all of this side of the family since my dad's side is a bit larger than mamas.  nonetheless, everytime we get together it is a treat in itself.  and recently one girl has been added as one cousin just got married, and as of friday night another one is tying the knot.  exciting times in the stewart family.

now for my immediate family, that's a different blog for a different day.  once again i could write a book on how much each family member means to me: mom, dad, adam, and dorie.  wow is all i can say.  i'm so lucky to be able to consider each and every one of them my best friends.  i can share anything with them, and i know they will support, criticize, and help me with anything i'm going through.

i am so blessed to have the family that i do.  sometimes it takes a weekend like this past one to actually realize that.  i didn't even really want to go back home this weekend but am SOO glad i did.  it's these little things in life that are so great and i am so grateful for these people that have been implanted in my life!

i hope each and everyone of you reading has a family that's close like mine and if not.....there is always room for one more in the stewart/haguewood clan!  we all know you'd love us!


who wouldn't want to be a part of this??

deep breath...and exhale

patient is defined as bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger.  having patience is the act of doing the previously described definition and man is this tough sometimes for me.

i like to consider myself a pretty patient person.  i don't mind having to wait to get certain things but more recently i would have to say i'm growing more and more impatient.  so here i am 3 weeks from officially having my master's degree and still have no job lined up.  this has been a growing concern for weeks and months now and i in turn am getting very irritated and impatient.  it seems like every job i apply for, i'm not getting a response and i want answers.  little do i know about my future and i struggle with it every day.  i keep telling myself there is a reason you aren't hearing back from these jobs you have applied for, God has a plan for you.  that plan seems so distant right now. 

sometimes it just feels as though the whole world is against you and the only thing you can do is wait it out.  in undergrad i was under the impression that i was going to graduate, have the girl picked out that i was going to marry, and have a job lined up(being a big time investment banker).  well i've heard it all along that if you want to make God laugh just tell him your plans.  well good grief i'm sure the Lord is rotfl (rolling on the floor laughing) at what i had planned out.  going back to school is not something i had planned out, but it was the best thing that has happened to me.  my job still situation seems bleak but at least i have an idea of what the Lord wants me to do.  it's all about following His plan and this sometimes requires much patience.  this has been the case with me even though it feels like it will never end.  eventually i will land where the Lord wants me and what was meant for me but until then all i can do is ask Him for guidance and patience along the way.

to all, take a deep breath and exhale, the Lord knows and always has so let Him show you.

the "what if" game

yeah it's actually happening, i'm blogging on back to back days and i'm blogging while at work again.  oh well what's the worst that could happen?  i get fired..ha yeah right these people love me.  and while i'm at it i've got justin bieber playing in my ears.  what a wonderful spring day.  and now on to the real point of my blog today which is the "what if" game.

many times in my life i have caught myself thinking or saying to myself, what if _____ would have happened? or what if _____ wouldn't have happened?  i've eventually come to a point where i'm not asking myself that anymore because whatever happens happens and really most of time you can't control it.  back in the day i would sit and ponder what if i was 6 foot 3 and weighed 210 pounds and was a stud athlete.  now i say thank you Lord for making me the little 5 foot 9 150 pounder that i am.  i wouldn't have it any other way. 

instead of asking those difficult "what if" questions, i have rephrased my way of thinking in a way that says this happened because ....  it is very relieving because i'm not constantly beating myself up over what i think should happened or think will happen. 

as the old cliche goes, everything happens for a reason, and you know it is the absolute truth. during my short time that i have been here on earth i am a firm believer of this.  it's so comical to me when people think that everything should be in this certain type of order and things should go as the world wants them to go. 

i've recently been concentrating on following the road that the Lord wants me on and this "what if" scenerio/question is the furthest thing from my mind.  i know and am comforted by the fact that whatever happens is for the best interest of me. 

Jeremiah 29:11 says:  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Pretty comforting huh!