so many times i sit at my computer and have pandora playing while i surf the net and don't really pay attention to what song is playing or who is singing it. i just pick an artist i'm in the mood for and listen. one random day when i was sitting at the coffee shop listening to whatever and wondering why the heck i don't have a job yet and wanting to do things my way in my time, this song by my new favortie artist shawn mcdonald came on. the lyrics are quite simple but became so powerful for me and spoke to me in. it has been my prayer each and every day since then, and i put it on every night before i fall asleep. i wanted to share them.
Would You open up eyes, so I can see
Would You open up my ears, so I can hear
Would You open up my mind, so I can know
Would You open up my heart, so
I could love You more
I want to serve You, my God
I want to give All of Me,
I want to serve You, my King, yeah
I want to serve You, my Lord
I want to give You everything, yeah
Would You open up eyes, so I can see
Would You open up my ears, so I can hear
Would You open up my mind, so I can know
Would You open up my heart, so
I could love You more
I want to serve You, my God
I want to give You everything
I want to serve You, my King, yeah
I want to serve You, my Lord
I want to give You everything, Yeah
Here I am with my arms open wide
Asking for You to come up, up inside
Won't You make me new, won't You make me true?
Jesus, won't You make me like You?
Would You touch my eyes, so I can see
Would You touch my ears, so I can hear
Would You touch my mind, so I can know
Would You touch my heart, so I could love You more
Won't You open me
Won't You open me, open me
Won't You open me, open me
Won't You open me
Monday, July 11, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
we regret to inform you...
frustrated. a word that i have become all too familiar with lately. frustrated because i am a worrier, frustrated because i don't yet have a job, frustrated because i know i need a job, frustrated that i have no sense of stability, frustrated because i can't beat my best mile times, frustrated because i am not that good at tennis. i am a competitor, and whether it is playing my little brotherr in tennis or fighting for a job with a slew of other applicants, i want to win. if i'm not doing that(competing) then i become very frustrated with myself and in turn with a lot of people around me. one thing leads to another, frustration builds, and i just go into shut down mode which isn't one of my proudest traits.
a lot of times i go back a read blogs from the past and catch myself needing to do some of the things that i am letting others read about. this will probably one of those times. you see i believe frustration is a growing mechanism that the Lord puts in our lives. in my personal opinion, i hate it. i am a deep and unique thinker and worrier which causes a lot of unnecessary frustration and stress. at times it literally makes me want to explode. instead for some reason i go run and recently that hasn't even been a stress or frustration reliever. i was to the point the other day that i wanted to rip my ipod out of my pocket and throw it into next week. not one "good running" song would play so i just turned it off. after a couple of miles, i realized that running without music all the time wasn't so bad. it was nice to be refreshed with the sound of my tennis shoe hitting the pavement and the breeze blowing in the trees and people chatting as i passed them.
frustration comes almost daily in my job search as day after day i receive an email with another "your qualifications were outstanding and we appreciate your interest in blah blah job but we have found someone more capable of filling our needs at the current time." like i want to call that person and say really, have you really found someone more capable. how do you know that is what i want to ask? like how could they be passing on me, i mean i am benjamin stewart.
i say all this to get to the point that no matter how frustrated i get or become it doesn't solve anything. everything happens for a reason and being frustrated about a situation isn't going to make it any better. frustrationg to me seems to be a test. a test of yourself, a test of your faith, a test of your selfishness, a test of your strength, a test of your will. will i be able to overcome my frustrations? well yeah eventually but one thing is certain, i can't do it alone even though i've tried multiple times. and even though i know i will be stressed and frustrated again i also have the comfort of knowing i'm not going through it alone. He is with me and He is with me always. that voice is saying "the job is coming," "the stability is coming," "the girl is coming," "the four minute mile is coming(maybe,)." it's just up to me to listen and obey.
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
PS - There was a little frustration while writing this blog
a lot of times i go back a read blogs from the past and catch myself needing to do some of the things that i am letting others read about. this will probably one of those times. you see i believe frustration is a growing mechanism that the Lord puts in our lives. in my personal opinion, i hate it. i am a deep and unique thinker and worrier which causes a lot of unnecessary frustration and stress. at times it literally makes me want to explode. instead for some reason i go run and recently that hasn't even been a stress or frustration reliever. i was to the point the other day that i wanted to rip my ipod out of my pocket and throw it into next week. not one "good running" song would play so i just turned it off. after a couple of miles, i realized that running without music all the time wasn't so bad. it was nice to be refreshed with the sound of my tennis shoe hitting the pavement and the breeze blowing in the trees and people chatting as i passed them.
frustration comes almost daily in my job search as day after day i receive an email with another "your qualifications were outstanding and we appreciate your interest in blah blah job but we have found someone more capable of filling our needs at the current time." like i want to call that person and say really, have you really found someone more capable. how do you know that is what i want to ask? like how could they be passing on me, i mean i am benjamin stewart.
i say all this to get to the point that no matter how frustrated i get or become it doesn't solve anything. everything happens for a reason and being frustrated about a situation isn't going to make it any better. frustrationg to me seems to be a test. a test of yourself, a test of your faith, a test of your selfishness, a test of your strength, a test of your will. will i be able to overcome my frustrations? well yeah eventually but one thing is certain, i can't do it alone even though i've tried multiple times. and even though i know i will be stressed and frustrated again i also have the comfort of knowing i'm not going through it alone. He is with me and He is with me always. that voice is saying "the job is coming," "the stability is coming," "the girl is coming," "the four minute mile is coming(maybe,)." it's just up to me to listen and obey.
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
PS - There was a little frustration while writing this blog
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