what am i doing? where am i going? am i doing it right? what should i be doing? am i looking for the right thing? will i ever find it? why am i looking? do i even know what i'm looking for?
questions that not only i hear all the time and ask myself all the time yet i still haven't found an answer to any of them directly. here i am lost looking into a future that is uncertain and unwritten. here i am searching for answers that aren't clear, and here i am anxiously awaiting what happens next.
i feel like i'm standing at the beginning of a journey with about a million paths leading a million different ways. i have no idea which path to take or even where to start. i have questioned myself, my motives, my faith, my trust, my ideals, among many other things. on one hand i think that there is a path out there worth taking, but on the other hand it seems as though that path is as lost as i am right now.
i have always been one that has been so grounded in my faith and my Lord, but so many times i have questioned that foundation that i have built my life on. why has it come to a point where i am searching for something that i may or may not be there? it was with a deep conversation i had with a great friend that this could be the best learning experience i have gone through. while discussing my issues with him i was brought aware that this could be an experience to strengthen and learn so much more about myself and my faith. i have been given the chance to dive into some views i haven't necessarily believed or considered before.
am i found? will i find it? will it be what i want?
it is these questions that i seem to be looking forward to the most. that day when i find my true purpose, my true calling, my true will for life. for now i sit still lost and waiting on "home" to call.
